There's Just Something About Him...

Have you ever met a person and almost instantly sensed that he or she meant trouble? Maybe you even mentioned this "gut-feeling" to someone else, even though you weren't capable of explaining it or giving any rational reasons for it. You just knew that there was something wrong with him...

I've recently started reading Social Intelligence by Daniel Goleman, a book that claims to explore a new science - namely how we interact with each other as human beings. IMHO, it's a pretty fascinating subject and I assume that this will not be my last post inspired by the pages of this book.

In a chapter entitled The Emotional Economy, Goleman talks about a "radar for insincerity" that we all seem to have. He cites the example of a (female) friend, who told him the story of the first meeting with the man she would rent her apartment to for a period of time. She didn't have a good feeling about him, didn't think she could trust him - but couldn't really say why. There was just something about him that told her he was going to mean trouble. Well, she rented him the place anyway, only to find out that he refused to leave when she was ready to move back in!
So here's Goleman's take on the phenomenon:

"The 'something about him' reflects the workings of specific high-and-low-road circuitry that serves as our early warning system for insincerity. This circuitry, specialized for suspicion, differs from that for sympathy and rapport. Its existence suggests the importance of detecting duplicity in human affairs."(p. 22)

This basically means that our brain is capable of detecting if someone is suspicious or not and accordingly able to help us make the right decision based on that. The only problem seems to be that we don't always follow this "advice", probably because we cannot rationalize or explain it in any way, thinking instead that it's just a "feeling". And since feelings can't be trusted... right? Let's hear Goleman again, writing about the part of the brain that is responsible for this detection-work:

"The amygdala automatically and compulsively scans everyone we encounter for whether they are to be trusted: Is it safe to approach this guy? Is he dangerous? Can I count on him or not? Neurological patients who have extensive amygdala damage are unable to make judgments of how trustworthy someone might be." (ibid.)

As it turns out, this "feeling" actually comes from your brain and not from your stomach, as you might think. And in this case it would really be better to trust your feelings than the suspicious person in front of you. So next time you just know that there's something about him that could mean trouble... just remember that you're probably right. (Or, in this case, your amygdala)