One Step At A Time...

There are some things in life that take time; developing and improving your willpower is one of them. Most of us have at least one bad habit we would like to get rid of, but we keep making the same bad decisions, showing a lack of self-control and willpower. Why does this happen? There are probably several reasons, but let's start today's post with something called "ego depletion". Here's how John Tierney, one of the authors of Willpower. Why Self-Control is the Secret to Success describes it:

"Thus was born 'ego depletion,' Baumeister's term for describing people's diminished capacity to regulate their thoughts, feelings, and actions. People can sometimes overcome mental fatigue, but Baumeister found that if they had used up energy by exerting willpower (or by making decisions, another form of ego depletion that we'll discuss later), they would eventually succumb." (p. 28)

Baumeister, by the way, is the other co-author of the book and what he's basically saying is this:

1) You have a finite amount of willpower that becomes depleted as you use it.
2) You use the same stock of willpower for all manner of tasks.

Now it would obviously be helpful to know when you are "suffering" from ego depletion. Not to worry, Baumeister and Tierney tell us what to look for and how to know we might be in trouble:

"So if you'd like some advance warning of trouble, look not for a single symptom but rather for a change in the overall intensity of your feelings. If you find yourself especially bothered by frustrating events, or saddened by unpleasant thoughts, or even happier about some good news - then maybe it's because your brain's circuits aren't controlling emotions as well as usual. [...] If you're trying to resist temptation, you may find yourself feeling the forbidden desires more strongly just when your ability to resist them is down. Ego depletion thus creates a double whammy: Your willpower is diminished and your cravings feel stronger than ever." (p. 30f)

In other words: not a very good situation to be in. But how can we avoid this depletion of our willpower and thus avoid making certain mistakes that may have a long-term negative effect on our lives? It's not easy and there is no standard answer for it. In general though, willpower can be divided into four broad categories: control of thoughts (1), control of emotions (2), impulse control (3), and performance control (4). In order to find out more about these categories, you'll have to stay tuned for more posts in the coming weeks. :-)

For now, keep in mind that it's usually better to take things one step at a time and not try to change your whole life in a single week or even month. You'll just deplete your willpower and end up more frustrated than before.

"Focus on one project at a time. If you set more than one self-improvement goal, you may succeed for a while by drawing on reserves to power through, but that just leaves you more depleted and more prone to serious mistakes later. When people have to make a big change in their lives, their efforts are undermined if they are trying to make other changes as well." (p. 38)

So take it easy on yourself. Rome wasn't built in a day, remember?